Airing of (Self) Grievances

I’m late to Festivus myself this year.

Instead of airing the grievances I have with others, I thought I’d air the grievances I have with myself (as a cook) in an effort to better myself.

So 1. I put off EVERYTHING. I have pictures of food on my computer/phone I haven’t posted about from fall late October.

2. I can’t peel a boiled egg. I know, I know. There are a THOUSAND different “tricks” to do it. They. Don’t. Work. For. Me. If I hard boil 8 eggs, I will end up with 3 good looking ones and 5 that look something like this:

I can’t serve that.

3. I almost always take my wedding ring off to cook if I know it’s going to be messy/gross. People are weirdly astounded at this. I don’t know why. When I bake things that have instructions that start with “With buttered hands,” I’m taking off the ring.

Exhibit A: My buttered hand sans ring

And, yes, this leads to me “misplacing” my ring more often than usual. (True story, I “lost” my ring on top of the coffee maker for like 8 hours.)

Which brings me to the next one

4. I lose things. I can NEVER find the can opener, it lives in a state of lost in our kitchen. I recently lost my phone, called it 3 times, and then found it in my back pocket.

5. I’m a messy cook. Really, really messy. This is a picture of one section of the kitchen after I used the mixer. Granted, the bowl was too small for the job, but really, it didn’t matter.

Just today I had flour, sugar, powdered sugar, egg whites, powdered jello, butter, and a combination of all of the above on my shirt, counter, floor, coffee maker, toaster, and jar of nutmeg.

Ok, after re-reading my list of grievances, I realize I’m probably not going to change any of these things. Although, I really wish I could peel boiled eggs.

Happy Festivus, all.